First one on the Scene
by briroch
Summary: Steve always wanted to beat the forensic examiner to the scene of a crime. Is this the time? Steve's thoughts during a scene from "Thrill Killers"


**A/N: A big thank you to Tanith 2011 for Beta Reading this story and for her great ideas for the second last paragraph- you spotted what was missing.**

**Disclaimer: Not for profit, just for fun! I only borrow the characters...**

**First One on the Scene**

Ever since I started working in Homicide it had been my ambition to beat Bernie, the forensic examiner to a crime scene. This time it looks as if I might just do that. Unfortunately I won't be alive to enjoy my little victory. I'm so tired, too tired even to close my eyes. I also know that once I close them I'll never open them again. I never thought death would be so painless, I know the bullet hit me right in the chest but I'm just numb. Maybe the pain will set in later- wait a minute, but then I will be dead.

I guess I shouldn't have approached Barbara on my own but waited for some back up. Yep, as Mike always said, the women will be my downfall. But she looked so harmless. How can a girl who is one minute worried about her sick child in hospital gun down a man in cold blood the next? Mike will have my hide for this blunder. No, he won't because I'll be dead. Poor Mike, he was so unhappy about losing me to Berkeley, how bad will this be for him? I wish I could have told him how much he means to me, how hard it is for me to leave him, but guys don't says such things. And now I will die and I won't even know if he is still mad at me.

Is this Mike? A barking voice bellowing orders, it can only be Mike! How did he get here so fast? Even he has beaten Bernie. No wait, I'm still alive- at least I think so. Mike must be taking charge. I feel hands lifting me up and then I think I'm in a car. The only thing I'm sure of is that I know Mike is here. He's holding me and he's talking to me but I can't answer, I'm too tired. Dying here in Mike's arms, beats dying alone out in the streets. But he keeps shouting orders at me. What does he want? _Hang on?_ I'm so used to do what Mike tells me to do, that I keep on breathing. He sounds angry but his hands are gentle as he holds onto me tightly. I guess he's not _really_ mad at me. That's good, I can relax now and let go. But wait a minute. What about Jeannie? I never got to tell her what I really feel for her. Oh man! I wanted to wait until I was settled in Berkeley and then I was going to ask her. Mike didn't want her to be a policeman's wife. Maybe he would be okay with a teacher as a son in law? I must have kept breathing while I was thinking about Jeannie and what might have been. Now she'll never know.

I am moved again. Mike lets go of me. I can sense more than feel him backing away from me as unfamiliar voices start speaking all at once. My brain can't separate the words. Nothing they're saying makes any sense to me. Where did Mike go? I can't hear him anymore. I wish I could call out his name but my lips refuses to cooperate. I want Mike, not all these strange voices around me. I start to go into panic mode but it just makes it all that much harder to breathe. I try to calm myself down. God, it hurts to breathe. Well that's strange. Why didn't it hurt before? I start counting in my head, willing myself to draw one small breath after another. Then by some miracle I can breathe again or am I just imagining that I could? Maybe I just imagined Mike holding on to me moments ago – was it only a few short moments ago? I can't even tell any more. The concept of time is strange to me. Yeah, I must've imagined Mike talking to me. Wait, I think I just heard him! Yes, I can still hear Mike. He didn't go away. He is talking about blood groups. Trust Mike to remember my blood group and the penicillin allergy. Mike, always reliable, always there, always looking out for me. I want to reach out and grab him but I can't move. Then silence. Is this death?

Voices. Sounds. Light. Questions that I can't answer. Too tired even to think.

When I wake up again I wonder if I am dead or alive. Is this Heaven? I see clear blue eyes that are smiling down on me. Jeannie? Or an angel? Do angels wear face masks? Jeannie?! The way she looks at me maybe she knows what I've always wanted to say. But where is Mike? He must be mad at me; otherwise he would never leave me alone. I have just about enough energy to move my eyes and there he is. His eyes are smiling too, but they are full of concern and love. How could I ever have doubted him? Whether he likes my decision or not, he will always have my back. I know that now. Perhaps I've always known that he would.


End file.
